It’s been tough.
This summer I did something a little different than the past, I worked at a camp – Pine Cove for 5 weeks and trained for 2 weeks as a photographer. It was crazy hard work, but an awesome environment. I had heard nothing but good things from people who worked at Pine Cove, so I had high expectations and was super excited. Unbeknownst to me, this would be 7 total weeks that I absolutely dread. Funny how every single person said they loved this camp, but as I served there I didn’t. There were night that I cried in my car because I didn’t want to be there. When someone finally asked me why I was so unhappy about being there, I literally couldn’t say a thing. People were so caring, intentional, and Christ-Centered, how could I hate it? After a few days of intense heart searching, God revealed to me that I was serving the people and not the Lord. I was so wrapped up in making things run smoothly, impressing people with pictures, and not messing up that I had been working – not serving. I felt like the 5 weeks of camp had been a waste. How could I be so selfish? When I started to understand what God was doing in heart, the Enemy began quickly to grab hold of my mind. I felt like I had let a bunch of people down. I felt unworthy to God’s sweet grace and mercy. That’s when the Lord revealed Psalm 100 to me. I read it over and over again and the words, “It is HE who made us”. Had I forgotten that God MADE me? Had I forgotten that I was at camp for a REASON? It was comforting to be reassured that I was worthy, I was special in God’s eyes. How sweet His mercy is, and how crazy my camp experience was! I am so thankful for Pine Cove Camps, every staff member there loved the Lord more than anything and put others before themselves. Each person was blessing from the Lord and I had not realized it until after I left camp. But I thank God for the hard days so that I may learn something awesome in the end!