All the single ladies.
“While I still struggle with being single—I haven’t always maintained that mountaintop experience—I’ve learned something about being content with where I am right now. I’ve realized I can’t waste my life by waiting around for someone to come and make it worth living. Life itself is a beautiful thing. I’ve also learned that one of the wonderful benefits of being single is that I can actually—to my surprise—spend time just enjoying God.” – Lori Smith
It’s that time. My life is full of weddings and relationships. I’m like the girl in 27 Dresses who stands in a million weddings and keeps all of her bridesmaid dresses. I’m also like that girl you probably know who is fascinated with relationships. Since entering college I’ve seen my fair share of break-ups, proposals, eloping, and gorgeous weddings. Through out my college experience, I’ve noticed that I find so much comfort in relationships (friendships) with people.
I’ve had to reevaluate where I begin putting my identity when I question why God has called me to a season of singleness. If I’m questioning God’s timing in what is my faith lying in? The second I begin to justify my lifestyle and sin, in what am I finding my identity in? I’ve had to step back and realize that yes, God hungers for my heart, God wants me to love man, and God wants me to trust Him.
Through this, I’ve listened to podcast after podcast, book after book (yep, Josh Harris…), and read blog after blog. In everything one this was evident: being single is a gift. At a conference with Francis Chan, I jotted in my notebook to, “live life to the fullest while you are single because having a spouse and kids are only going to add to your distractions.” This is so true. Hearing that quote along with a few blogs and podcasts really changed my view of singleness.
What a gift it is to be single. It is the only time in your life that we can give our full undivided attention to God. Now, I know this sounds cliche, but honestly, it’s something awesome we hold in our hand. The time we are single should be spent lost in the Father’s love not searching for a partner in crime to share interests with. Time spent while single is taken for granted so often. God has taught me so much by simply placing me in a season of friends who are in relationships, while I am called to be single. For me specifically, at first I had no idea why He would put me in such a place, but after a while, I realized that it was to give me a dose of reality and what I was putting my identity in.
I learned quickly that my identity which should had been securei in the Lord became lost in relationships and friendships. God had to rip things from my hand to show me how much of the Gospel I became to make about my self. You see, the second I think something is not going the way I think it should go, I’m making the Gospel about myself. And the Gospel is NOT about me. It’s about quite the opposite. Constantly I have to remember that God is for me and no matter how long I spend lost in his vast sea of love, I will never understand His timing or reasoning. That’s what makes God .. GOD. and I’m so glad I’m not God because I make the most selfish, unrewarding decisions.
Closing words – make your time of singleness count. It’s preparing you for your next season. God’s obviously taking away distractions of a spouse because He wants you to grasp something. Now we just have to sit back, lose the pride, and listen.
Here are some pictures from a Bachelorette Party I just threw for a friend: